CategoryDetails / ExamplesCore Pattern / DefectAttachment before knowledge: emotionally investing before understanding partner’s interests, needs, or compatibility.Confusion between personal resentments and relationship reality, projecting past trauma onto current dynamics.Lack of sustained interest in partner’s inner life or hobbies, despite being affectionate.Seeking emotional comfort and distraction over authentic engagement (shopping, video games, academic pursuits).Difficulty recognizing when... Continue Reading →

I have spent an interesting couple of months being entangled in three different relationships/dynamics with men who exhibited highly narcissistic tendencies. It has been painful. And scary. I have been forced to confront the following. To admit being a victim of narcissistic abuse means admitting that human nature really might not be all that "good... Continue Reading →

This post contains a Google doc with prayers which accompany each one of the 12-steps of Co-dependents Anonymous.

A broken heart will disorder the mind, but in our society we attempt to order, suppress, contain the heart by means of psychological and psychiatric control which will always be desperately ineffective for a broken heart. One who is cut off from a broken heart will have a mind which endlessly circles *around* the very... Continue Reading →

Grad School: A Near Miss Shot at the Sun Dr Belgrade was my most favorite professor I ever had and I met him when I started my MA program at USF in 2022. I clicked with him in ways I never had with any other teacher -- that was in part because I myself was... Continue Reading →

Assets / Virtues / Strengths Event / Relationship Appreciations / Positive Feelings Character Asset / Strength Handling Blythe’s dominance in class gracefullySatisfaction in managing attention, maintaining composureEmotional maturity, self-restraint, ability to share attention Navigating seating chart and front-of-class placementPride in constructive engagementGrace under social pressure, relational intelligence Moment of connection with Dr. Belgrade (laughing at... Continue Reading →

When I want something, I rarely consider to examine why I want it or where the desire came from. Our world is full of man-made environments designed to extract value (especially monetary value) from its inhabitants to benefit their creators. Why is the grocery store the way that it is? Why are the aisles put... Continue Reading →