4th Step | Fall from Grace: Rehab | Summer 2022

Assets / Virtues / Strengths

Event / Relationship	Appreciations / Positive Feelings	Character Asset / Strength
Handling Blythe’s dominance in class gracefully	Satisfaction in managing attention, maintaining composure	Emotional maturity, self-restraint, ability to share attention
Navigating seating chart and front-of-class placement	Pride in constructive engagement	Grace under social pressure, relational intelligence
Moment of connection with Dr. Belgrade (laughing at picture)	Joy, sense of shared understanding	Sensitivity to connection, ability to experience empathy and joy in relational moments
Submission of final paper (highest score)	Pride, accomplishment despite adversity	Perseverance, intellectual rigor, commitment to excellence
Sending email to repair relationship	Courage to address injustice	Assertiveness, moral courage, commitment to integrity
Handling denial and loss of mentorship	Endurance, resilience	Emotional resilience, adaptability, ability to withstand relational disappointment
Observing unfairness in peers’ success	Recognition of moral values	Ethical clarity, commitment to personal standards, awareness of integrity
Decision to go to rehab	Recognition of personal needs, courage to seek help	Self-awareness, prioritization of well-being, courage in facing uncertainty
Researching rehabs online	Relief at finding options, hope	Initiative, resourcefulness, willingness to take action
Choosing rehab in Tennessee	Excitement, optimism	Courage, hopefulness, commitment to seeking help
Observing rehab environment critically	Awareness of discrepancies	Insight, discernment, critical thinking
Connection with Jim	Fascination, admiration	Capacity for deep appreciation, relational sensitivity
Building rapport with Jim	Joy, intrigue	Relational intelligence, ability to bond under stress
Moving to Massachusetts PHP	Relief at improved conditions	Adaptability, perseverance, proactive problem-solving
Daily contact with Jim	Comfort, connection	Emotional engagement, persistence in building relationships
Reflecting on rehab experience	Clarity, self-awareness	Insight, self-reflection, moral evaluation of institutions
Navigating difficult social dynamics	Gratitude for support from some peers	Resilience, selective trust, interpersonal discernment

Defects / Fears / Resentments

Event / Relationship	Resentment / Hurt	Fear	Character Defect / Pattern
Dr. Belgrad’s look of shame during shared laughter	Uncertainty, worry	Fear of losing mentor’s respect or affection	Over-interpretation of social cues, projection of others’ emotions
Dr. Belgrad becoming cold and distant	Loss of connection, heartbreak	Fear of permanent abandonment, loss of guidance	Emotional dependency, attachment to mentor validation
Feeling discriminated against for BPD diagnosis	Betrayal, anger, injustice	Fear of being unfairly judged	Sensitivity to perceived moral injustice, internalization of blame
Dr. Belgrad refusing to apologize and ending mentorship	Grief, frustration	Fear of having no supportive mentor	Ruminative attachment, difficulty letting go of lost relationships
Observing peers succeed while suffering	Injustice, resentment	Fear of inadequacy, falling behind	Comparisons, envy, over-identification with fairness or morality
Losing TA position / thesis mentorship	Disappointment, loss	Fear of lost opportunities, career derailment	Over-reliance on external validation, perfectionism, emotional reactivity
Initial despair before rehab	Isolation, hopelessness	Fear of death, fear of being unsupported	Suicidal ideation, despair, over-identification with helplessness
Unrealistic expectations of rehab	Disappointment, frustration	Fear of being ineffective, failure	Idealization, external dependency, over-reliance on external solutions
Frustration with staff incompetence	Annoyance, disillusionment	Fear of wasted time, missed recovery	Cynicism, critical judgment, low patience for authority
Social isolation among peers	Loneliness, shame	Fear of being excluded	Difficulty connecting, social anxiety, self-consciousness
Obsession / fixation on Jim	Intense longing, excitement	Fear of loss, fear of unreciprocated desire	Over-attachment, fantasy elaboration, dependency
Navigating sexual / romantic dynamics with Jim	Anxiety, embarrassment	Fear of rejection, impropriety	Emotional impulsivity, anxiety, attachment intensity
Comparing self to peers	Frustration, envy	Fear of inadequacy	Jealousy, self-criticism, over-identification with social competence
Frustration at rehab limitations	Anger, resentment	Fear of wasted effort	Cynicism, external blame, difficulty regulating expectations
Managing multiple locations (Tennessee → Massachusetts)	Stress, uncertainty	Fear of instability	Anxiety, need for control, over-planning